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HumorThe Bitch-o-matic
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Created November 2003.
A SelectSmart.com Selector by Skylar
for ages women from all around the globe have been asking: "what does my neighbour's wife, boss, laundry cashier and supermarket cheese tester woman say about me?" now we have the answer! just take this test and prepare to be bitchalyzed! Disclaimer.
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The first selector question is below.


1. Are you 13 or older? (you need to be over 13 years old to be llegaly a bitch)
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

2. are you a woman? (if you are a man pretending to be a woman and you have no lipstick on your face, the answer is "no"))
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

3. Are you from Canada, you bitch?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

4. In relationships, do things usually go your way?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

5. Have you ever gotten pregnant intentionally, just to lure someone into a lasting relationship?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

6. have you ever been on a catfight?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

7. how about a fist fight?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

8. have you ever slapped someone?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

9. Have you ever kicked someone in the nuts?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

10. Have you ever given someone the silent treatment?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

11. Do you wear fake nails?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

12. If so, do you often find dried blood beneath them?
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High Medium Low

13. Do you carry mace or pepper spray for self defense?
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High Medium Low

14. Do you have more enemies than friends?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

15. Would you say your mom is a bitch?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

16. Do any of your screen names contain the words "angel", "cat", "qtie", "69", "tigress", "vam", or "vixen"?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

17. Have you ever been to prison, either to visit or because you kind of had to go there?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

18. Have you ever used your TEETH during oral sex (on a man or a woman)?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

19. Have you ever threatened to commit suicide just to get attention?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

20. Have you ever pushed someone in a wheelchair over wet concrete and left them there? Ha ha.
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

21. Do you avoid beggars on the street?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

22. Have you ever stood someone up?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

23. Have you ever dumped anyone?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

24. Have you ever cheated on someone?
Prioritize your choice above:
High Medium Low

Now that you have answered all the questions, continue to the Show Me My Results! button below.

Just for fun, predict what your #1 result will be.Your prediction will not influence your results.


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