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HumorWhos your DADDY???
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A SelectSmart.com Humor Selector by EEEEEK, created October 2002. some of us KNOW that our 'fathers' arent REALLY our dads, but some evil guy who stole us from our hospital crib because we are so incredibly cute and brilliant. but who is your REAL daddy? is your daddy a tree-hugger? a hobo? a nitwitted screwball? this just might be your first step to finding your REAL (possibly filthy rich owner of a chocolate factory!!!) daddy! The next page will include info about each result, also there click for relevant Amazon deals. Disclaimer.
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1. are you painfully pretty? and please, ask a friend, i hate concieted people.
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2. do you have musical ability?
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3. do you have the talent of singing? really now, you can carry a tune and sing it...WELL???
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4. do you enjoy inflicting pain? i mean punching random people in the spleen till their eyes bug out. (may i suggest...Therapy)
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5. would you rather battle misquitoes, tripping along in the woods, or battle other 'inferior' customers, tripping to the front of a line of angry bloodthirsty costumers?
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6. do you think im a psychopathic rapist? (think, 'Hannibal'...raper style *evil grin*)
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7. is Hannukah ruined if your football team doesnt make the playoffs? (for non-jewish people, is KWANZAA ruined instead?)
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8. do you become spasmatic if your room isnt spotlessly neat? (there are places for people like you)
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9. are you one of those people who are science and math geniuses, but absolutely morons in history and english?
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10. are you tall? i mean, not average tall, but...hmmm...you feel like your mayor of the munchkin city?
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11. do you have anger management problems? how do i explain this...do you have holes in your walls because your roomie got bud light instead of millers?
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12. do you flirt constantly? oh come on, unless your mother teresa, the pope, or your name is bill, you have to click yes.
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13. do you enjoy drinking to the point where you arent sober enough to care about a huge rash that developes on your butt whenever you drink alcohol?
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14. are you as male (yes) or female (no), and if your not sure, plastic surgery does wonderful things...
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15. does 50% or more of your wardrobe contain something black, something dangerous to the public, or is safety pinned (more or less) together?
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16. are you fairly popular? did the blonde leader of the varsity cheerleading dub you 'bearable to the public'?
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17. do you scare young and old alike? is there an urban legend about you?
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18. do you spend a considerable amount of time around your computer? (notice no snide remark...)
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19. do you think one day you will be recieving an academy award, tearily telling everyone you couldnt have done it without ME!
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20. do you imagine yourself as a famous dead poet? like, edgar allen poe...or homer (not simpson you nincompoop).
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