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Alcoholic BeveragesWhich is the right beer for you?
3 from 54 votes.
22,457 visitors' top results
Created January 2001.
A SelectSmart.com Selector by Mike Neilson
This is a simple test designed to figure out which beer is best suited for you. It is has situational questions so that you can return on different nights with different budgets/frames of mind/aspirations and the exam will produce different answers suited for each occasion.
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This SelectSmart.com Alcoholic Beverages selector, a free online personality quiz, is a creation of Mike Neilson and for amusement purposes only. See the author's other creations, if any. The implicit and explicit opinions expressed here are the author's. SelectSmart.com does not necessarily agree.
The first selector question is below.

1. Do you feel like spending less than $20 on a case of beer?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
2. Are you looking for a dark beer?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
3. Does your hair often attract attention when you are in public (has anyone ever whispered/yelled the word "mullet" while laughing and pointing)?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
4. Do you think of yourself as being a pretty smart person?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
5. Do you like the taste of yak's blood, vomit, or Coors Light?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
6. Are you easily confused by bottles, especially ones that aren't twist tops?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
7. Have you ever punctured holes in a can of beer for the purpose of drinking it faster?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
8. ...ever tried it with a bottle (retard)?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
9. And how about those fine malt beverages in "perfectly sized" 40 oz. containers? Do you like them?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
10. Do you puke often?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
11. Do you like those little tiny umbrellas in your drinks?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
12. Do you like to discuss politics?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
13. Do you drive a foriegn car?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
14. Do you watch NASCAR?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
15. Do you refer to soda as "pop"?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
16. Do you like a good cigar?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
17. Does "Lite" beer seem a little weak to you?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
18. Do you like Mexican beers?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
19. ...how about Mexican beers with urine?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
20. Are you in college
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
21. Are you cheap?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
22. Are you trying to impress a girl?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
23. Are you just trying to get drunk enough to forget that you just got laid off from some stupid dotcom, such as "selectsmart.com" ?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority
24. Is Queen Elizabeth II hot or what?
Prioritize your choice above:
Low Priority High Priority

Now that you have answered all the questions, continue to the Show Me My Results! button below.

Just for fun, predict what your #1 result will be.Your prediction will not influence your results.

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