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Selector of the moment:

Are you an obnoxious customer?

5 from 5 votes.

See 2,287 visitors' top results
A SelectSmart.com Humor Selector by Chad Hoolihan, created August 2000.
This is a test to determine if you are the kind of customer cashiers tell horror stories about. I've worked in various grocery stores and this test is based on the complaints I've heard from cashiers time and time again. This test is not meant to be an indictment of anyone's shopping style, but it might be something to think about depending on your results... Disclaimer.


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The first selector question is below.

1. Do you flagrantly and defiantly disregard the "NO Shoes, NO Shirt, NO Service" rule?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

2. If you have to wait in line, even for a short time, will you get huffy and dart to another line to save three seconds?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

3. Do you carry on heated cell phone conversations while the cashier rings up your order, sometimes even oblivious to the fact that you are at the store?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

4. Do you view your coupons as though they are your children, becoming personally offended if one is rejected?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

5. Do you discipline your children loudly and aggressively while you are shopping?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

6. Do you avoid letting whatever bad day you might be having affect your attitude toward the cashier?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

7. Have you ever indignantly declared to the cashier, or whoever was handy, that you would "Never return to this store again!"

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

8. Did you return?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

9. Do you ever zip into the express lane knowing full well that you have too many items, hoping the cashier won't notice?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

10. If you were caught engaged in the above activity, did you say "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention"?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

11. Are you a friend or relative of high-ranking store personnel and make it a point to inform the cashier of this in order to subtly (or not so subtly) suggest that you deserve special treatment?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

12. Do you treat your shopping experience like a military operation? (Every aspect of the shopping is planned to perfection. If there is any deviation, however small, war is declared on the perceived offender.)

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

13. Do you watch the cashier ring up your order with frightening vigilance, pointing out every item that is supposed to be on sale before the cashier can scan it?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

14. Do you come up to the register with an enormous amount of groceries, only to end up deciding that you don't want most of them?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

15. Do you generally hold the cashier personally reponsible for any inconviences you experience while shopping, even if they had nothing to do with any of your problems?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

16. Will you haggle, cajole, or argue with a cashier to the bitter end if you think you can save a few pennies?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

17. Do you discuss your personal life with the cashier in elaborate and endless detail?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

18. Have you ever thrown anything at a cashier, or threatened violence?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

19. Have you ever held up a line over some trivial dispute, and then tried to draw blame from yourself and onto the cashier by sanctimoniously saying "Just finish my order, there are people waiting in line!"

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

20. Do you realize that the motto "The customer is always right" does not necessarily apply to stark, raving lunatics or opportunists?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

21. Do you automatically assume that the cashier is beneath you or an idiot?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

22. Do you purposely use coupons that you know don't match what you purchased?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

23. Are you considerate of your fellow shoppers?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

24. Do you realize that the world does not revolve around you?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:

High Medium Low

Now that you have answered all the questions, continue to the Show Me My Results! button below.

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