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A SelectSmart.com Politics Selector by Enniaun Girt, created September 2007. All right-thinking people know that there are but two possible political stances. They also know that there is nothing more mature and sophisticated than regurgitating viewpoints one has read in a newspaper. Agree or disagree with the following statements: Disclaimer.
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1. I’ve got nothing against left-handed people, but I don’t have to agree with their lifestyle. Holding pens in their left hands and all that … ugh! The very thought of such deviant behaviour fills me with horror!
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2. What in Hell’s good name are school vouchers? Sounds like some yank nonsense.
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3. Killing unwanted babies is cool.
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4. Condemning a diseased baby to a lifetime of misery is even cooler.
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5. The law holds that it is wrong to murder people (unless the government sanctions it). The Bible says that it is wrong to murder people (unless it involves the wholesale extermination of infidels whose existence is displeasing unto God). It follows that we are a Christian nation, and that, in order to turn them into worthier citizens, schoolchildren who do not believe in God should be forced to tell lies.
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6. We should ban all other belief systems and enforce state-sponsored worship of the Founding Fathers. We should also appoint learned men and women to interpret Their Holy Constitution.
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7. If the Founding Fathers were alive today, they’d be trigger-happy oil investors.
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8. If the Founding Fathers were alive today, they’d be vegetarian pacifists.
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9. If the Founding Fathers were alive today, they’d maintain that England’s third goal in the 1966 World Cup Final was over the line.
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10. We should reintroduce Trial by Combat.
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