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Humor selectors, pages, etc.
Media Reports Trump Threatened Nuclear War After He Says, 'This Guacamole Is The Bomb!'
By HatetheSwamp
March 18, 2024 1:20 pm
Category: Humor

(0.0 from 0 votes)
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First Trump promises a bloodbath if he loses. Now, he guarantees to start a nuclear war if he wins!

What the hey!!!!!?

U.S. — After former President Trump declared his freshly-made guacamole "the bomb", media outlets across the nation announced that Trump had threatened to drop a nuclear bomb if he were to lose the election.

"This is a clear call to civil war," cried MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough as video played of Trump eating chips. "You heard the words 'the bomb' from his very own lips. Is there nothing this madman won't do?"

Several media outlets reported that Trump's threat of nuclear war came immediately on the heels of Trump vowing to demolish democracy when he claimed he was "about to demolish" some tortilla chips. "We are sickened to hear such vile threats from former President Trump," said Scarborough. "Watch as Trump openly says he's about to 'slice and dice' tomatoes. Slice and dice? Trump is literally saying he plans to cut every one of his opponents into tiny pieces with a knife. Horrific!"

According to sources, the comments came after Trump served up his world-famous guacamole during fajita night at Mar-a-Lago. The guacamole, a family recipe for generations, was made tableside by Trump himself and described as "absolute dynamite" in addition to many other violent and obviously pro-insurrection phrases.

At publishing time, MSNBC had reported that Trump also planned to burn Democrats alive after revealing that Trump described the fajitas as "sizzling."


Note to all woke, white electric limousine lovin progressive Swampcultists:

All of this is offered as humor. Y'know? Baha baha haha haha ha!!!!!?

You're gunna just have to trust me.


Cited and related links:

  1. babylonbee.com

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Comments on "Media Reports Trump Threatened Nuclear War After He Says, 'This Guacamole Is The Bomb!'":

  1. by Indy! on March 18, 2024 1:36 pm

    Good lord - oldest joke in the book. I specifically remember Mad Magazine using the same one in regards to hijacking planes circa 1970.


  2. by HatetheSwamp on March 18, 2024 1:43 pm

    Yeah. And,...

    Orchestras still play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

    Both are classics.

    View Video


  3. by Indy! on March 18, 2024 8:08 pm

    Music plays well multiple times. Reworked jokes merely expose the unimaginative thinking of whoever reused the same joke after we've already heard it.


  4. by oldedude on March 19, 2024 2:41 am
    perhaps the "oldest joke," but just needed to be said. Sometimes you just can't say it any other way. And sometimes you don't even have to say the punchline... The faux rage in the left and lies to create the vitriol hatred is now the accepted norm.

    Apparently, the left can't beat trumpster in court, since most of the "cases" are falling apart quickly. They are choosing to use the same style of propaganda Pol Pot and Mao used in their revolutions.

    Again and again selective enforcement of laws will be the undoing of them. If you don't charge white bubba and do charge to the fullest extent of the law for the same act, that's selective enforcement.

    And my guess. It will undo the fascist left.


  5. by Indy! on March 19, 2024 10:56 am

    The actual Left would undo Trump in about 30 seconds. The Democrats - your version of the "left" - can't do that because they need him.


  6. by oldedude on March 19, 2024 12:19 pm
    The issue is they can't think their way through this. Thusly, every "trial" is being systematically ripped apart by their own doing. They can't figure out how to do this legally. Their hatred is stronger than their senses. So they're screwing up on the simplest of legal protocol. Which I think is funny. They thought because "it's us" they can do anything they want, not realizing they still have to follow the law.


  7. by Indy! on March 19, 2024 2:23 pm

    True - but that's a side issue imho. They need Trump because if the Rs put up a real candidate Biden would have no chance at re-election.


  8. by Curt_Anderson on March 19, 2024 2:27 pm
    Indy,
    If the Republicans had put up a candidate who was not an obvious threat to Democracy, I don't think Biden would have run for re-election.


  9. by oldedude on March 19, 2024 2:51 pm
    Every GOP candidate would be a "threat to democracy" to you.


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