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Trump’s $45M Birthday Parade Flops with Empty Seats and Bored Faces
*President Donald Trump threw himself a $45 million birthday parade—and the crowd gave it a hard pass. The flashy tank-filled event, held in Washington, D.C., was meant to dazzle. But thanks to a soggy forecast and heavy humidity, the vibe was more wet noodle than fireworks.
The parade kicked off 30 minutes early to dodge expected storms. Spoiler alert: It still rained. While only light showers fell, the damp weather may have scared off would-be spectators. Cameras showed more empty bleachers than cheering fans, which didn’t exactly scream “historic moment.”
Yawns, Eye Rolls, and Missing Family Members
Even the VIPs looked like they’d rather be anywhere else. Social media lit up with clips of Secretary of State Marco Rubio yawning like he was watching paint dry. First Lady Melania Trump appeared to doze off mid-parade, eyes closed, while tanks rolled by. Not exactly high-energy leadership vibes.
Noticeably missing from the festivities? Trump’s own daughter, Ivanka, and her husband, Jared Kushner. When even your family skips your party, that’s saying something. Those who did show up included Vice President JD Vance, UFC CEO Dana White, and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. It felt more like a corporate-sponsored tailgate than a presidential celebration, The Daily Beast is reporting.
As tanks lumbered down Constitution Avenue, parade emcees shouted out sponsors like Coinbase, Oracle, and Lockheed Martin. Yes, a birthday parade with corporate ads—because nothing says patriotism like crypto exchanges and defense contractors.
Television coverage focused on the military hardware, but social media told a different story. Clips showed sparse crowds, silent streets, and bleachers with more metal than people. The lack of speakers along the route made the parade eerily quiet, like a blockbuster movie played on mute.
Mass Protests Overshadow Trump’s Pricey Celebration
While Trump’s parade fizzled, protests across the country roared. Over 2,000 “No Kings” demonstrations were held nationwide, marking his birthday with powerful opposition. The NYPD reported 50,000 protestors in New York, while 80,000 marched in Philadelphia.
Protestors even gathered near the parade route, waving signs like “Stop fascists now!” and “Army, do your job – 86 47.” Their message was loud and clear—even if the parade itself was not.
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It really was a pathetic and shamefully embarrassing display. Way to make our military look like a bunch of cub scout rejects, Donny!
You know, I believe that your heroes, Putin and Kim Jong Un, would give you an "F" for such a shoddy and haphazard excuse for a dictator's parade. I bet they haven't even stopped laughing yet.
From everything I'm hearing from military people, the troops were absolutely not happy about being used as props for that orange narcissist and they let it be known by how sloppily they "marched". Like it was their form of protest.
And who could blame them?
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