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Parenting selectors, pages, etc.
Virginia Has a Very Interesting Story About not Relaying Info to Parents
By oldedude
August 25, 2023 8:05 am
Category: Parenting

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At first I thought this was "just" a story about teachers not telling parents about their kids changing gender identities.

I like this because it shows many of the sides we've talked about here. Not only by Lead and me, but also po and Donna. This is the first part, and it gives the reader just the background. Interesting stuff in the article, which is not huge, but it does take a couple of minutes.

A subcommittee in the Virginia House of Delegates voted Monday to advance a bill requiring schoolteachers and school staff to notify parents about their children’s purported gender transitions, partially in response to the horrific sex-trafficking story of Sage, a girl whose high school hid her transgender identity from her mother.

HB 2432, “Sage’s law,” requires any school professional who reasonably suspects a student is at risk of suicide or “is self-identifying as a gender different from the student’s biological sex” to contact at least one of the student’s parents, to notify the parent, and to offer counseling.

The law would allow school staff to avoid this contact only if the student faces an “imminent risk of suicide” as a result of parental abuse or neglect, in which case staff must contact social services.

The law also prohibits any school counselor from hiding gender-identity changes from a parent and from encouraging or forcing children to do so.

Del. Dave LaRock, R-Loudoun County, sponsored the bill and invited testimony from Michele (whose last name was withheld to protect Sage’s privacy], the biological grandmother of Sage, who Michele adopted after the death of her son, Sage’s father. Sage became a victim of sex trafficking after her high school hid the girl’s change in gender identity from her mother. Michele testified Monday.

“Parents know their children best,” the legislator noted. “When schools drive a wedge between parents and students, and hide these life-changing conversations and decisions from parents, important aspects of the child’s overall well-being are not taken into account by those involved in the decision. Sage’s ‘gender-identity transition’ and subsequent introduction into sex trafficking took place quickly after she moved to a new school, where staff affirmed Sage’s new gender without knowing important aspects of her fragile condition.”



Cited and related links:

  1. dailysignal.com

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Comments on "Virginia Has a Very Interesting Story About not Relaying Info to Parents":

  1. by Curt_Anderson on August 25, 2023 9:47 am
    "...teachers not telling parents about their kids changing gender identities." --OD

    In what scenario would a parent not notice their kids changing gender identity? Maybe something like this:

    Ma, I could have sworn we had three girls and four boys. Now I see we have four girls and three boys.


  2. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 10:07 am
    Obviously, you didn't read either my post or the article. So I'll guess I have to explain this case to you.

    Grandma had the granddaughter once her son died. Grand daughter wanted to go Emo. Grandma had no clue what that meant. So grandma allowed her to dress as an Emo. No big deal to grandma. What grandma wasn't told, was that daughter used the male bathrooms (in which she was sexually assaulted), and the district still didn't contact grandma about anything. This is a "norm" in VA schools to protect rapists (Fairfax and Louden counties are the usual suspects in this). So as far as grandma knew, it was just daughter doing her thing.

    Ma, I could have sworn we had three girls and four boys. Now I see we have four girls and three boys.
    So your thought is that they go to school one day, change their gender like they change clothes, and their done. OMFG.. That's really disappointing. Even for you.


  3. by Curt_Anderson on August 25, 2023 10:17 am
    The school should have informed her parents (and the police) that their daughter was sexually assaulted--no matter where the assault occurred. People should use the bathrooms that matches their sexual identity. Problem solved.

    The daughter being emo or punk or whatever style isn't an issue that the school needs to discuss with the parents.


  4. by HatetheSwamp on August 25, 2023 10:25 am

    People should use the bathrooms that matches their sexual identity. Problem solved.

    Mental illness over science, eh? Have you heard about this wacky theory? Evolution?


  5. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 10:31 am
    People should use the bathrooms that matches their sexual identity. Problem solved.
    she did... Problem? Not so solved. You're putting up a lot of strawman arguments without reading the text. The article was very interesting because of the depth this case went into. Some things that happened were some of the same issues Donna and po talked about and may be issues in this case, which is why I brought it up. The simplistic statements really cheapen any arguments you may have.


  6. by Curt_Anderson on August 25, 2023 10:47 am
    The actual crime and the situation that needs addressing is that somebody was sexually assaulted in a bathroom. The victim's gender or gender identity is irrelevant. If a person was sexually assaulted by people of the same gender is that somehow OK?


  7. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 10:53 am
    There hasn't been any argument about that. You're fighting just to fight. I'm not engaging.


  8. by Indy! on August 25, 2023 11:16 am

    Creating laws based on isolated incidences never turns out well.


  9. by Curt_Anderson on August 25, 2023 11:37 am
    Indy,
    Good point. The right keeps harping on the incident in Loudoun County, VA.


  10. by Indy! on August 25, 2023 11:54 am

    Thanks Curt. I didn't read the entire story, but from the basic outline it seems like this person had a lot of issues that led to the end result. I doubt this law would have helped in any way. Let's say the school reports to the grandmother that the "girl" is now identifying as a "boy" - how is that going to solve the problem? Would that have stopped the harassment at school by the other kids? Or the child's distress over losing a parent? Seems like this was a confluence of issues that led to the problem. Reporting the child's gender issues to the grandmother does not seem like a solution to me.

    Side issue: Do all wingnutty "news" websites start with the word "Daily"? Is that some sort of mandatory requirement? 🤔


  11. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 12:45 pm
    Creating laws based on isolated incidences never turns out well.
    You mean like what the wokesters are doing with Gender Studies?

    First, the major incident was in Fairfax County, not Loudoun County, VA. (which is kinda immaterial). the issue there was that a male "who identified himself as a female" used the female's restroom. No big deal, right? Except he raped several students and the school district not only didn't tell the parents of the victims, they did not report to the police as was their disclosure policy. They shipped him off to another couple of schools and the kid kept raping students. Eventually one of the students reported it to the police on her own, which blew the lid off the whole thing. The district remained steadfast they did nothing wrong. I think it's agreed the district was at fault and is now going through lawsuits presently.

    The daughter in this case, had her breasts grabbed and mauled by male students in the hallways of the school. She was also sexually assaulted in the school.

    In this case, what the grandmother stated was the school could have gotten daughter into counselling at the school. That would have really helped the daughter especially in this case. And in not telling her, grandma couldn't have known her options.

    There are some other questions donna spoke to (in general) but I'm not going there.


  12. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 12:46 pm
    This pretty much goes with curt's view of "I don't really care about human beings." that he's doubled down on several times.


  13. by Curt_Anderson on August 25, 2023 1:00 pm
    “They shipped him off to another couple of schools and the kid kept raping students.” —-OD

    So that kid is the problem, not who is or isn’t allowed into a certain bathroom. No new law or policy is needed. Rape is already illegal.



  14. by Ponderer on August 25, 2023 1:09 pm

    I am happy to report, for the benefit of our oldest dude, that as a transgender woman with 27 years of using public women's rooms under my belt, that I can probably count the women I have raped in those rest rooms during all that time on just one hand. So it's not like we all do it all the time.









    (There's just no way to converse rationally with a flaming bigot like this.)




  15. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 3:49 pm
    I am happy to report, for the benefit of our oldest dude, that as a transgender woman with 27 years of using public women's rooms under my belt, that I can probably count the women I have raped in those rest rooms during all that time on just one hand. So it's not like we all do it all the time.

    Excellent. I was waiting for either you or your wife to respond.
    Question. Did you read the article?

    I think the major difference is this is high school. I think many students are unaware of some of the crap that goes on. My main issue here is;
    - Because of the districts' policies, many of these sexual assaults are not being reported to parents.
    - I think many times it's because if they accuse a biological male claiming to be a female, that somehow gives the bunghole cover in being a perp. So it's not bad that he raped several women, it's bad if you report it. Apparently, if you report it, you're not woke enough to be in any kind of position in the district.
    - Are you blaming her for getting sexually assaulted because you never have? I'm at a loss for the meaning of your post.

    My belief in this article is a complete failure of the system. Was it a perfect storm? I don't think so. I think it was bureaucrats being bureaucrats. Am I attacking any victim in this? no. And I don't think I ever lay blame on anyone in this situation. perhaps the decisions of the school district of Loudon County if anyone.

    My question is; (again, why do you get so defensive about this? I actually solicited your comments several times, and you come out with that? I guess I shouldn't have.



  16. by Indy! on August 25, 2023 4:38 pm

    Curt beat me to it - we already have laws addressing those kinds of crimes, OD. And you undermine your own argument for MORE laws when you claim teachers are not reporting these (alleged) rapes of which you speak. What makes you think they'll report gender-changing student issues if they're not reporting the far worse crime of rape?


  17. by oldedude on August 25, 2023 6:16 pm
    curt #13. So that kid is the problem, not who is or isn’t allowed into a certain bathroom. So that kid is the problem, not who is or isn’t allowed into a certain bathroom.
    That's what I've been saying all along. And you have completely lied about what I have said. There are two problems here. 1. you're correct the kid.
    2. The DISTRICT POLICY should have been to report the incident to the police and the incident to the parents. It wasn't. The policy was to sweep it under the rug.
    3. The women in both Fairfax AND Loudon District schools ARE THE VICTIMS. (for the third fukking time).

    indy #somewhere in the netherworld- so you're saying the woman's a liar (because all women are liars).
    I NEVER argued against the rapes not being a crime. Curt took me completely out of context just to pick a fight. And you bought off on his LIE and followed him like a good little nazi. So when you look for someone with zero morals, look at him.

    What makes you think they'll report gender-changing student issues if they're not reporting the far worse crime of rape?
    You didn't read any of my responses. THE DISTRICT'S policy is NOT to report. If anyone is at fault (as I said for the second? no Third time now) it's the district. If a teacher breaks district policies, they can be fired. And if there's a lawsuit for that violation of the policy, the teacher is on their own. They WILL follow district policies. They risk too much not to (and don't make near enough to pay for a million dollar lawsuit).

    It is also the district's policy not to tell parents regarding any gender issues. Herein lies the problem with that. IF they would have told the parent, she would have an opportunity to work with the school on counselling (the issue was a self esteem and depression. That was discussed in the article).


  18. by Indy! on August 26, 2023 12:07 am

    Okay, so the district decides not to report it.


  19. by HatetheSwamp on August 26, 2023 4:00 am

    The actual crime and the situation that needs addressing is that somebody was sexually assaulted in a bathroom. The victim's gender or gender identity is irrelevant.

    Just curious. What's the difference between a gender and a "gender identity?" pb thinks that they are the same thing. pb knows what biological sex is. So, what's gender if it's not "gender identity?"

    pb'll say, again, that he's groovin on the rise of the anti-TQ coalition which is up in arms against Curt's sentiment...

    ...that three-headed monster that is destroying the woke trans political agenda and trans ideology:

    1. Old-school Title IX feminists.
    2. Anti-TQ LGB groups and activists and
    3. po's "fascistic and disgusting" "MAGA Republican" "Christian theocrats" who really are mommies and daddies and nannas and pappaps who merely want to raise their kids without government intrusion.



  20. by oldedude on August 26, 2023 4:51 am
    Okay, so the district decides not to report it.
    Yes, in that and several other cases. The cites are only about Fairfax County, There's a bunch more about Louden County.
    wmal.com
    foxnews.com
    washingtonpost.com
    insidenova.com


  21. by Donna on August 26, 2023 9:57 am

    First of all, I resent the Daily Signal article author misgendering Danica Roem who transitioned over 9 years ago.

    "Del. Danica Roem, D-Prince William County, a male who “identifies” as female, expressed opposition to the bill. Roem warned that “even more children will be put in danger if the government interjects itself into the most personal of family discussions like this, regardless of whether it’s safe for the child to be out.” He did not respond to The Daily Signal’s request for comment to further explain this claim."

    To od's statement, "The DISTRICT POLICY should have been to report the incident to the police and the incident to the parents. It wasn't. The policy was to sweep it under the rug."

    I'm not aware of any "district policy" that prevents school faculty from reporting a sexual assault to the police or for that matter any crime. Here's the issue. From the link below:

    "...Loudoun was hampered in handling the alleged assaults by its need to comply with law enforcement and Title IX procedures. Loudoun had to wait until the sheriff’s office concluded its criminal investigation before it could discipline the student, ­Byard said. He said law enforcement requested that Loudoun not interview students during the criminal investigation. He also noted that Title IX prohibits Loudoun from disciplining a student without following the law’s grievance process, which requires a full investigation of sexual harassment and sexual assault."

    Btw, the state of Virginia just passed a law to allow schools to discipline a student while a police investigation is taking place.



    washingtonpost.com


  22. by oldedude on August 26, 2023 11:20 am
    Flip side. They're getting sued and investigated by the state and the feds for their actions (or inactions as it is).

    Donna- I want to make sure you know. My view of this (which was apparently because he was convicted) was playing the system. This is one of the things Lead and I talked about. What a way for a guy to get in to the women's restroom, especially if he's a groomer or sexual predator. I just thought it was a stupid idea because there are people like this that will take the rule and play it up to their own wants.

    Parents suing Loudoun County Public Schools following reported sexual assaults
    A Loudoun County family who says their daughter was sexually assaulted at a Loudoun County Public School announced they will be pursuing civil action against the school district under the provisions of Title IX.

    Attorneys for the Smith family said their daughter was sexually assaulted in the girls’ restroom at Stone Bridge High School on May 28 by a boy claiming to be “gender fluid.” The Smith family has retained The Stanley Law Group of Virginia.



    Family of Loudoun Co. Student Sexually Assaulted: ‘Ineptitude of All Involved Is Staggering'
    A student sexually assaulted a female student at Stone Bridge High School in May 2021, but was allowed to transfer to Broad Run High School, where he abducted and sexually assaulted the second student in October of 2021. The teen was later convicted in juvenile court.

    A special grand jury found Loudoun County Public Schools administrators looked out for their own interests rather than the interests of the school district throughout their handling of the two sexual assaults, according to its report released on Dec. 5.



    Grand Jury Indicts Loudoun County School Officials Over Sex Assault CasesA grand jury indicted former Loudoun County, Va., Public Schools superintendent Scott Ziegler and former public information officer Wayde Byard following an investigation into the district's handling of two sexual assault cases involving a student who reportedly identified as "gender-fluid."


    Parents suing Loudoun County Public Schools following reported sexual assaultsLOUDOUN COUNTY, Va. (WRIC/WJLA) — A Loudoun County family who says their daughter was sexually assaulted at a Loudoun County Public School announced they will be pursuing civil action against the school district under the provisions of Title IX.

    Attorneys for the Smith family said their daughter was sexually assaulted in the girls’ restroom at Stone Bridge High School on May 28 by a boy claiming to be “gender fluid.” The Smith family has retained The Stanley Law Group of Virginia.

    “The sexual assault our daughter endured should never happen to any young girl, or any child, attending a public school. But because of indifference and negligence by Loudoun County Public Schools and the Loudoun School Board, it did. And now, it has happened to another girl at another Loudoun County school at the hands of the very same assailant,” Mr. and Mrs. Smith said in a statement.

    washingtonpost.com
    nbcwashington.com
    wric.com
    View Video


  23. by Donna on August 26, 2023 1:41 pm

    Who reported this guy to the police?

    I read in another article that the reason the first school didn't report it was because the girl was friends with him and arranged to meet him in the girls' restroom, but then things got out of hand. Right or wrong, the superintendent considered it as mutual consent and transferred the boy to another school.

    The author of the Daily Signal article, as well as other anti-TG authors are trying very hard to use instances of sexual assaults in women's restrooms by guys wearing skirts in order to denigrate the entire TG community, when actually the issue is sexual predators.




  24. by oldedude on August 26, 2023 2:44 pm
    first, I learned that if she says no and he keeps going, it's rape. Period. But all of these are required by district rules to have final approval of the superintendent.

    Second issue. I don't know if it's denigration of the trans folks, or if it's really gaming the system. Like I have said since the beginning, this is the piece that I think is wrong. AND the legal fault is with those (mostly males) that are the perps. They are nothing more than loathsome creatures. They need to be dealt with for what they are. They are serial rapists. My view? put them in general population with a bunch of female cons. They'll last a few weeks before they come crawling (because they can't walk anymore) and beg to be out. I wouldn't let them. And to know they're MS gang members? All the better. They need to be taught they're the little bitches.

    Sorry, I digressed, but this is maddening to me. As we've discussed. For the exploration? Okay, that's fine. Not telling the parents? That's wrong. The daughter in Loudon that has the law named after her. She was trying to find friends. She was trying to get in a group that would be accepting of her. She was taken advantage of by some "bung" hole and eventually was murdered horribly. She didn't deserve that. But they got the power trip of "teaching" this "girl" what being a "man" is. We are burying a dear, dear friend on Wednesday. They say there's always an antithesis to those that die. The one who dies for her must be a real shithole. I'm humbled to have known her.


  25. by Donna on August 26, 2023 2:58 pm

    Tyler O'Neil, who wrote the piece you linked to in your OP, gave himself away as a transphobe when he misgendered Danica Roem. I've seen others like him use sories like the one we're discussing as an argument for denying transwomen entry into women's restrooms.



  26. by oldedude on August 26, 2023 3:20 pm
    That's a piece some use. Just like the MN governor had to fire her press person because she wanted to murder all transphobes. It's not a perfect world. AND each side will use these against the other.

    Unless we stop it. If not, then be ready to continue.


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