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History selectors, pages, etc.
The reality of the situation(s)... and occasional musical interludes
By Indy!
August 18, 2023 2:58 pm
Category: History

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Revisiting the 2000 Election thru the x-ray eyes of Indy...

*The TEXAS Hillbilly*
(sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song)

Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy name Bush.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.

Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with lowlife folk.
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.

The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.
Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.

Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, Fallwell, that is, Jessie Helms.

Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those colored folks get into the polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.
Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.

Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how George finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.

Y'all come vote now. Ya hear? -- HAIL to the commander in THIEF!

Comments Start Below


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Comments on "The reality of the situation(s)... and occasional musical interludes":

  1. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 3:11 pm

    I try to be nice and this happens...


    Post Date: 12/24/2001 2:30:31 PM (Eastern USA)

    Author: Indy!
    Goodbye board - it's been nice knowing ya!


    Author: Hrdbll BBS
    Indy!, I too shall miss you as one misses the paper on a roll when nature has already made her call, for you stand alone amongst all Hardballers as the most unrelenting in your attacks on the GOP and the least attached to the political realities of the day. Your pedestrian wit and boorish behavior keep our monitors on the floor laughing hysterically and crying like children wondering what bonehead idea will next pry it's way into that minuscule little "brain" of yours. It shall be a cold day in hell when someone with your utter disregard for the thoughts and feelings of others crosses our cyber threshold and we'd just like to say thanks for being the asshole that you are before we add a final goodbye and good riddance.


  2. by islander on August 18, 2023 3:13 pm

    That's very good Indy !

    I like it. And it's pretty much just what really took place !!

    Ever think of heading up to Nashville and writing country songs !! 🍻


  3. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 3:26 pm

    Thanks, Isle. I could write country songs in my sleep. The only problem is while I was awake I wouldn't be able to live with myself. 😉

    BTW, missed opportunity on my second post there - the intro should have been...

    "I tried to be nice and this is the thanks I get.

    Funnier imho.


  4. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 3:30 pm

    Something on Lynyrd Skynyrd I don't even remember...


    Great column on Leonard Skinner / Lynyrd Skynyrd! I wholeheartedly agree that if the band members had been smart enough to follow the rules of society they might still be around today playing great music for all of us to enjoy! Matter of fact, I think you should have taken it one step further and explained how living their lives according to social norms instead of being the no-holds-barred hard-living Southern rockers they were would have affected their music. For example...

    "Free Bird" probably would have been called something like "Free Nerd"

    Likewise...

    Sweet Home Alabama... Sweet Home with My Mommy

    Workin' for the MCA... Workin' on my SATs

    Down South Jukin'... Down South Gamin'

    Searchin'... Googlin'

    I Know a Little... I Knit a Little

    Gimme Back My Bullets... Gimme Back My Mullet

    Simple Man... Simple Math

    Aint No Good Life... It Is Not a Good Life

    Crossroads... Crosswords

    I Never Dreamed... I Never Dated

    Call Me the Breeze... Call Me the Dweeb

    Honky Tonk Night Time Man... Donkey Kong Night Time Man






  5. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 3:47 pm

    Talking about country songs - here's a classic country square dance tune I wrote on the day of W's inauguration. If you've ever been to a real ho-down, you know they sing-song the rhyme in the first four lines and then speak the rest (think Hee-Haw)...


    YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAW! Throw some hay from the barn over yonder in tha Linkin bedroom... Set up tha' gals bunkbeds... get a nice pig sty workin' out back in that thar Rose Gardun... SOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE, PIG! Ah'ma luvin' this har Prezaduncy thang awl-reddy! Whoooooooo doggie!

    Grab your partner swing her around...
    King George Smirk is the new Boy in town...
    Stuff your pockets with endless cash...
    Later at the coronation bash...
    YESSSIIIRRRREEEEEEEEE BOB!!! You heard me right...
    King George is getting paid off later tonight!
    A $15 Mil "party" from the pharmaceutical industry!!!!
    YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW! CHA-CHING!

    Kiss your sister on the lips...
    Refrain from lettin' your tongues a' slip...
    Grab a conservative, dough see dough...
    Rich contributors are in the know...
    WEEEEEHOOOOOOOODOOOGGGGIEEEEEEE! You got it...
    The Boy has hit the Lotto now!!!!
    A $25 Mil "party" from Big Oil!!!!
    YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!

    All you suckers gather round...
    Let me tell you what's going down...
    Georgie Boy is just like his Dad...
    As a "leader" his case is very sad...
    That's riiiiight!! SOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE, PIG!!!!
    He's a corn-fed Texan, if you get my drift...
    YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!

    He surrounds himself with snobs and saps...
    The rest of the country is hearing "Taps"...
    We bust our balls and break a sweat...
    While they figure new ways to put us in debt.
    You got it, partner!! Does that ring a bell?
    CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! YOU BET IT DOES!!!!
    YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!

    That's right boys and girls... Now that the Clinton administration and their "scandals" have left the building... the real dirty work can begin!! Hold on to your wallets, it's time for the BIGTIME scams... Social Security Reform - can you say American taxpayer BAILOUT? Medicare Prescription Drug Plan - YES!! And government was going to lower may cable bill also!!! WHOOODOGGIE! I LOVE IT!!!! THE GOPERS FELL FOR IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA (THE REAL ONE - NOT GEORGIE'S VERSION!!!!) DON'T MESS WITH TEX'ASS!!!! YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!


  6. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 4:04 pm

    Now... Sports! (from the past)...

    10 Reasons Philadelpia Would be the Perfect Place for Michael Vick When He Gets Out of Jail
    (and you thought Indy couldn't predict the future!)


    10. The Philly crowds won't be put off by Vick's history of strangling his own dogs since they do that themselves after every Eagle loss.

    9. Great way to energize the team when they visit Cleveland's Doghouse.

    8. Vick's parole officer can double as Eagle bench security during games.

    7. Convicts feel right at home at Lincoln Field.

    6. Who better to pump up the crowd when they play Who Let the Dogs Out?

    5. It opens a whole new gamut of fan promotions like Dog Collar Sunday and Free Jailhouse Tattoo Night.

    4. Vick will make Eagle fans forget how much they hate Donovan McNabb.

    3. Lincoln Field is considered a legitimate halfway house by the Federal Penal System.

    2. Stray dog problem... what stray dog problem?

    1. The Raiders already have a QB.


  7. by islander on August 18, 2023 4:12 pm

    Indy's on a roll tonight !!! 🤣


  8. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 4:19 pm

    I'm doing a long term back-up on my computer. Didn't realize I have unsorted stuff going all the way back to 2000. That's what happens when you spread stuff over 4 computers and 3 or 4 external drives. Here's one for OD...



  9. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 8:21 pm

    If Trump were a poet...

    To you I cannot lie
    I love McDonald’s fries
    And could eat a bucket
    Of Chicken McNuggets
    I’d never turn my back
    On a tasty Big Mac
    But I'm thinking today
    I’ll have the Fish Filet
    And my thirst I will slake
    With a chocolate shake
    Then ponder it alone
    Upon my restroom throne


  10. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 9:18 pm

    Every D campaign since 1972...



  11. by Indy! on August 18, 2023 9:26 pm

    Choices... choices...



  12. by islander on August 19, 2023 3:34 am

    Indy is now the official SS Poet Laureate !! 🥂


  13. by Indy! on August 19, 2023 10:40 am

    Thanks Isalnder. I always have been, but these other folks just won't admit it. Thanks for stepping up to the plate for me. 😌


  14. by Indy! on August 20, 2023 12:36 pm

    Biden campaign haiku:

    "Not me, us" - says Joe
    "Come on man, I'll tell you why"
    "Cuz, you know - the thing"


  15. by Indy! on August 20, 2023 1:14 pm

    Getting to the crux of the problem...



  16. by HatetheSwamp on August 21, 2023 8:10 am

    How bout:

    "Not me, us" - says Joe
    "Come on man, I'll tell you why"
    "God save the Queen, man."

    Baha bahahahahahahahahahaha baha baha!


  17. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 4:22 pm

    That works too. Good job, peebs! I wrote a few of them that night on twitter. Here's another...

    BBQ chips gone
    Sadness closing in on me
    Trump versus Biden


  18. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 4:26 pm

    But we gotta keep the music flowing too. So here's an old Indy movie review from the not too distant past that also doubled as a traditional blues tune...



    Black Snake Moan

    OooOOooh the Black Snake Moan... here it is, friends... clap your hands with Blind Mango Indy... singin' about the moan... hope you enjoy my little number... singin' the blues bout the moan.... here we go... clap your hands and FEEL it the rhythm flowing thru your bones...

    My baby name Christina Ricci...
    She got the black snake moan...
    Oh my baby's movie name is Rae...
    And she got the black snake moan…
    She got the black snake moan.

    Rae never wear any clothes...
    She got the black snake moan....
    I say Rae mostly naked(!)…
    Through most o' Black Snake Moan...
    She got the black snake moan.

    Rae's man Ronnie left to go to war...
    Exacerbating Rae’s case o’ the black snake moan...
    Rae's man is Justin Timberlake!
    He left Rae wit’ the black snake moan…
    She got the black snake moan.

    My main man is Samuel L. Jackson...
    He play a bluesman tune....
    Sammy movie name is Lazarus...
    He plays the blues real cool...
    He play the “Black Snake Moan.”

    Well... he live out there by hisself...
    Cuz his lady left him 'lone...
    She got the black snake moan...
    Well, he live out there all by hisself...
    She got the black snake moan!

    One day Lazarus driving home...
    He played the “Black Snake Moan”…
    Rae's a beat-up drunken mess…
    On the side of the road...
    She got the black snake moan...

    Lazarus stop da car, get out, pause for effect, pick up Rae and put her in the backseat of his Toyota...
    She got the black snake moan...
    I said Sammy put her in the Corolla!
    Cuz she beat up in the road…
    She got the black snake moan.

    Now Rae wake up at Sammy's place...
    She chained to a stove!!??
    Yeah - that’s what I say, Rae wake up at Lazarus’ joint...
    Wit’ her jay bird naked ass chained to his stove!
    She had the black snake moan.

    Lazarus say his intentions are pure....
    He signed a pact with the laaaaaawd...
    To cure the black snake moan...
    And Rae still got the black snake moan…
    She got the black snake moan.

    I said Lazarus be talking to laaaaaaaaaaaaaawd Jesus...
    ‘Bout Rae's case o’ the black snake moan...
    Jesus say take Rae to da blues bar, Lazarus - take her to da blues bar…
    And play "The Black Snake Moan"...
    To cure her black snake moan.

    People think Lazarus gettin' some nooky...
    It's the black snake moan...
    I said people suspicious of Sammy...
    And the black snake moan.
    She got the black snake moan…?

    They lookin' at Rae with a wary eye...
    She got the black snake moan.
    And wunnerin' if she got Lazarus' black snake moan...
    She got the black snake moan...
    Yeah, she got the black snake moan...

    She got the black snake moan...
    She got the black snake moan...
    She got the moan...
    She got the black snake moan...

    Fade out.


  19. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 9:12 pm

    People separated at birth...



  20. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 9:13 pm

    No way to deny this one...



  21. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 9:15 pm

    You know Indy doesn't pull his punches...


  22. by Curt_Anderson on August 21, 2023 9:19 pm
    Indy,
    Re: #19

    I always thought the "Q" character from "The Incredibles" was modeled after Linda Hunt.


  23. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 9:19 pm

    One last haiku for Curt and the other anti-vaxxers...

    Coronavirus
    Quarantined man in a box
    Still no on Biden


  24. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 9:22 pm

    Lot of people have speculated that...

    Edna is widely believed to have been based primarily on costume designer Edith Head, although there continues to be constant speculation as to which celebrities inspired Edna, particularly Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, Iris Apfel and actress Linda Hunt.

    She's actually voiced by Brad Bird the creator of the Incredibles. He does a handful of the characters' vocals and his kids do some too.
    en.wikipedia.org


  25. by Indy! on August 21, 2023 9:31 pm

    Feel the Bern...


  26. by Donna on August 22, 2023 8:06 am

    Nice lyric writing, Indy. Do you have any more recent works?



  27. by Indy! on August 22, 2023 12:04 pm

    Thanks Donna. I'm still backing stuff up, there's probably more somwhere. Didn't realize I wrote that many tunes - maybe I should have tried to write some real songs and make a buck off it.

    This is kind of musically-oriented. I never actually posted the book - just this promo. By the time I finished it, Obama was already out of office.



  28. by Indy! on August 22, 2023 12:08 pm

    Ooops - that was the small one. Here's the regular size version (easier to read)...



  29. by Indy! on August 22, 2023 12:14 pm

    Here's a song about Cam Newton from the Panthers Super Bowl season...


    Cam
    (Sung to the tune of Beth)

    Cam, I see you coming
    But I don’t know what to do
    Me and the boys are playing
    But we’re so outclassed by you

    Can’t stop your offense
    Cuz our defense really blew
    I think I hear them crying
    Cuz Cam, we can't stop you
    Cam, we can't stop you

    Your dances we all envy
    Your house is our endzone
    We're always somewhere else
    And you're always there alone

    Just a few more touchdowns
    And we'll be home watching you
    The Super Bowl is calling
    But Cam what can we do?
    Cam what can we do?


  30. by Donna on August 23, 2023 8:10 am

    I love your Axelrod thing!

    Cam Newton. Is he still playing?


  31. by Indy! on August 23, 2023 9:57 am

    Thanks - maybe I'll post the psychedlic book that goes with it one day. Nobody will understand it though.

    Cam's been out of the league for a couple years. He still wants to play, I think - but he was terrible his last year with New England.


  32. by Indy! on August 23, 2023 10:00 am

    Another Indy prediction that came true...


  33. by Indy! on August 23, 2023 3:11 pm

    You don't really know someone until you see them in their downtime...



  34. by Indy! on August 24, 2023 1:33 pm

    That's just the way it is... somethings will never change...



  35. by Donna on August 24, 2023 3:54 pm

    Who's the Free Pussy Riot guy? He looks familier.


  36. by Curt_Anderson on August 24, 2023 4:52 pm
    Donna,
    That’s James Comey.


  37. by HatetheSwamp on August 24, 2023 5:00 pm

    Comey's a Bernie voter?


  38. by Indy! on August 24, 2023 7:50 pm

    That's a real photo too.


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