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Crime selectors, pages, etc.
Trump To Be Indicted For Removing Mattress Tag In 1997
By HatetheSwamp
March 24, 2023 10:44 am
Category: Crime
(0.0 from 0 votes)
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NEW YORK, NY — District Attorney Alvin Bragg is reportedly set to indict Trump this coming Tuesday for the removal of a mattress tag back in 1997. According to sources, new evidence was discovered in the mattress tag cold case by grizzled Detective Harry Jakes, who utilized modern advances in forensic science to place former president Donald Trump at the scene of the crime.

"We got him dead to rights," said Bragg in an unnecessary press conference. "No one removes a mattress tag in my city and gets away with it!"

Independent fact checkers have rated Trump's claim "a bald-faced lie," citing the fact that the president does not sit on a throne. Also, he is Trump and that is bad. The fact-check article does not make mention of the mattress tag issue directly, but does note, "[Trump] broke both federal and international laws probably."

Trump's a crook!


Cited and related links:

  1. babylonbee.com

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Comments on "Trump To Be Indicted For Removing Mattress Tag In 1997":

  1. by Curt_Anderson on March 24, 2023 12:27 pm
    Dana Milbank asks:
    "Be honest: Who among us has not had an extramarital affair with a porn star?

    It is the rare person who can truthfully say he or she has not. And that is why I admonish you: Let he who has not lied about using campaign funds to pay hush money cast the first stone!"

    Btw, Melania was busy anyway having just delivered their baby son, Barron, four months earlier.


    washingtonpost.com


  2. by HatetheSwamp on March 24, 2023 12:34 pm

    Trump's despicable.


  3. by oldedude on March 24, 2023 12:44 pm
    I live in a different world I guess. The campaign funds would be a thing IF the feds had found any wrongdoing whatsoever. They were after him too. 'member?

    As far as him cheating on Melania after the birth. My view is that's something between them. Is it illegal? doubtful. Is it not a good idea in any sort of western culture? yeah. Does it affect me? I guess as much as JFK's whoring around with women, and cliton. And Hoover wearing dresses. The impact on me is in the negative column. They have to deal with their creator, just as I have to deal with mine.


  4. by HatetheSwamp on March 24, 2023 12:47 pm

    It does strike me that progressives, suddenly, are prudes.


  5. by oldedude on March 24, 2023 12:56 pm
    Only to Trump and Conservatives. Remember they laughed at the jokes about Weinstein's "casting couch?" It was funny until it all of a sudden wasn't.


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