Kavanaugh Burns Down His Home Just To Get It Over With
By HatetheSwamp June 24, 2022 2:36 pm Category: Humor (0.0 from 0 votes)
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"Might as well face it. The sooner this puppy burns down, the sooner I can start rebuilding at an undisclosed location," Kavanaugh said to himself while dousing his home with kerosene, as his family piled into a minivan provided by a federal witness protection program. "At least I'll be sure to do a good job. Those antifa guys can be pretty sloppy."
Kavanaugh walked slowly through the house, carefully applying lighter fluid and other fuels throughout, as he reminisced about all the good times he'd had there and said goodbye to his material possessions. "Goodbye, statue of St. Mary. Goodbye, limited-edition Samuel Adams tap handle. And I'll miss you most of all, MAGA hat."
"Sometimes, when you want something done right, you just have to do it yourself," he added as he put the finishing touches on the home before throwing a match and walking away.
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