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Lurker Algorithim                   Is Cindy visible? YES Lurk in corner Has she noticed? YES Slink away   NO Stare at phone SIGH NO Get married! YES Did she follow you? NO SIGH Did she text you? YES Agonize over whether to respond Did you respond? YES CRINGE   NO Keep staring at phone WRITE MORE YOU CAN DO IT! CRINGE     WRITE HER! CRINGE TELL HER EVERYTHING YOU FEEL!! CRINGE