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EntertainmentWhich Stalker are YOU?
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A SelectSmart.com Entertainment Selector by The Stalked, created May 2002. Out of five randomly selected stalkers, from the elite who stalk me daily, which one do YOU most resemble?
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 Your first question is below. 

Create your own new selector like this one ...it's quick, easy and mobile-friendly.


1. Are you a short, dumpy fat slob?
Prioritize your choice above:
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Low

2. Do you have brown stains either on your underwear, or upon your person that should not be there?
Prioritize your choice above:
High
Medium
Low

3. Are you so nasty that you don't even *bother* to wear underwear anymore?
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Medium
Low

4. Do you have brown, yellow, gray or any other unnaturally decaying shade of teeth?
Prioritize your choice above:
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Medium
Low

5. Do you *only* leave the house for the bar, package store, or other occasion which involves (hopefully free) alcohol?
Prioritize your choice above:
High
Medium
Low

6. Is this the only occasion on which you bathe, shower or brush your brown teeth and/or (occasionally) attempt to dislodge the brown stains from your person?
Prioritize your choice above:
High
Medium
Low

7. Do you even *have* a home which to leave for these occasions? (Note: mommy doesn't count, neither does the current "freind" or "other")
Prioritize your choice above:
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Low

8. Do you expect "Happy Meals" after cleaning the tub, whose porcelean's shade of brown almost rivals that of your teeth?
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Low

9. Do you even *have* any teeth?
Prioritize your choice above:
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10. Do you follow, stalk, harass, and basically spend every spare and/or waking moment checking up on the lives of people who don't like you?
Prioritize your choice above:
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Medium
Low

11. Do you accuse every male that so much as breathes near you of being your "stalker," -then sleep with them the first chance you get?
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Low

12. Do you have a profession which allows you access to children?
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13. Does the word "pedophile" make you bristle?
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Low

14. Do you use any of the following excuses to cover up your indescretions and lies: false "innocence," mental problems, having "bigger problems than everyone else," etc?
Prioritize your choice above:
High
Medium
Low

15. Does this cause you to cry copiously at parties or in the presence of others to get attention, sympathy, and pity?
Prioritize your choice above:
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