Does your TV have a name? (I mean a first [and possibly a middle name], not the brand.)
True		False

Does your TV set have a gender? (i.e. the gender you're sexually attracted to?)
True		False

Is your TV set an integral part of your sex life? i.e. Do you regularly have to clean spunk or other natural fluids off your TV set after an *intimate encounter*?
True		False

Do you watch more than six hours of TV daily?
True		False

Do you find yout TV set physically attractive? So much so that your eyes become glazed and your crotch becomes inflamed when thinking about it?
True		False

Are your deepest, darkest fantasies in technicolor and surround sound?
True		False

Do you have digital cable and/or a satellite dish?
True		False

Do you find yourself constantly facing tough decisions, such as "attend 10 year high school reunion?" or "watch M*A*S*H*" marathon on TV Land?"
True		False

When relating a story to a friend, do you sometimes lose track of whether it happened to someone you know or whether it took place on TV?
True		False

Do you hyperventilate when you have company over and they have the nerve to pick up your remote?
True		False

Do you sleep with your remote control on your pillow - you know, just for er...security?
True		False

Do you keep track of time based on what shows are on? For example, "Days of Our Lives=time to eat?"
True		False