Which is the right beer for you?, a SelectSmart.com Alcoholic Beverages selector. Ask about my top result.

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Which is the right beer for you?

3 from 54 votes. 22,431 visitors' top results Created January 2001.

A SelectSmart.com Selector by Mike Neilson
This is a simple test designed to figure out which beer is best suited for you. It is has situational questions so that you can return on different nights with different budgets/frames of mind/aspirations and the exam will produce different answers suited for each occasion.
Items from Amazon.com you might like. See the poll based on this selector.

This SelectSmart.com Alcoholic Beverages selector, a free online personality quiz, is a creation of Mike Neilson and for amusement purposes only. The implicit and explicit opinions expressed here are the author's. SelectSmart.com does not necessarily agree.

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It's free, fast and easy.

1. Do you feel like spending less than $20 on a case of beer?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

2. Are you looking for a dark beer?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

3. Does your hair often attract attention when you are in public (has anyone ever whispered/yelled the word "mullet" while laughing and pointing)?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

4. Do you think of yourself as being a pretty smart person?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

5. Do you like the taste of yak's blood, vomit, or Coors Light?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

6. Are you easily confused by bottles, especially ones that aren't twist tops?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

7. Have you ever punctured holes in a can of beer for the purpose of drinking it faster?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

8. ...ever tried it with a bottle (retard)?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

9. And how about those fine malt beverages in "perfectly sized" 40 oz. containers? Do you like them?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

10. Do you puke often?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

11. Do you like those little tiny umbrellas in your drinks?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

12. Do you like to discuss politics?

Yes No No preference

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Low Priority High Priority

13. Do you drive a foriegn car?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

14. Do you watch NASCAR?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

15. Do you refer to soda as "pop"?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

16. Do you like a good cigar?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

17. Does "Lite" beer seem a little weak to you?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

18. Do you like Mexican beers?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

19. ...how about Mexican beers with urine?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

20. Are you in college

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

21. Are you cheap?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

22. Are you trying to impress a girl?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

23. Are you just trying to get drunk enough to forget that you just got laid off from some stupid dotcom, such as "selectsmart.com" ?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

24. Is Queen Elizabeth II hot or what?

Yes No No preference

Prioritize your choice above:

Low Priority High Priority

Now that you have answered all the questions, continue to the Show Me My Results button below.

Just for fun, predict what your #1 result will be.Your prediction will not influence your results.

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