The top 5 The Ultimate Loser Test results of 1022 participants. Percentages indicate the frequency of the self-selected participants' top results for The Ultimate Loser Test.

#1	34.3%	You'll die a virgin
#2	30.3%	You're a total loser
#3	19.3%	You're as cool as you'll ever be
#4	16.0%	You're almost pretty cool
#5	0.0%	You're not a loser